


Dinner & Diatribes

by gunwoong (sessrumnir)



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: (technically underage drinking depending on your country's legal drinking age), Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel!Leedo, Demon!Xion, Drinking, Fluff and Humor, Heresy, M/M, Making Out, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21923458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sessrumnir/pseuds/gunwoong
Summary: An angel and a demon walk into a bar... And discuss freelance job opportunities.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongju | Xion
Comments: 10
Kudos: 134





	Dinner & Diatribes

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading something with demons (royal cleaner series, hi!) and suddenly had the urge to write something supernatural? and what better opportunity to whip out my demon!xion headcanon than that, am I right, folks.
> 
> the universe is loosely inspired by the good omens universe AND the sookie stackhouse (aka true blood) universe. just loosely. like, barely. this is just a bunch of flirting with some mythology thrown in.

_I'd suffer Hell if you'd tell me  
what you'd do to me tonight  
[_ _...]  
_ _oh, let there be damage ensued and tabloid news_  
_and that kind of love_  
_that's the kind of love_  
_I've been dreaming of_

[(dinner & diatribes - hozier)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlLx7oE7q3I)

There’s enough people in the bar to make it not look like a Thursday afternoon. It’s dark inside, and if Geonhak didn’t know any better, he’d say he’s stumbled into a cliché western movie about a moody writer trying to find his inspiration in alcohol.

Except Geonhak’s no writer, and he’s the only one sitting at the bar. And he doesn’t even drink, he thinks as he downs the rest of his soda.

For a moment he considers what he’s even doing there, but then the door opens and in walks a demon. Literally. Although Geonhak is the only one who notices it.

He doesn’t even _look_ like a demon. He’s lean, he’s wearing a hoodie that’s maybe two sizes too large for him, and he’s young. 

Also, he’s pretty. 

Their eyes lock as soon as the demon walks inside, giving Geonhak a knowing smirk. He walks towards the bar, sitting down on the stool next to Geonhak. 

“Angel,” he says in a surprisingly deep voice. 

“Hey,” Geonhak says simply. The bartender is on the other side of the bar but Geonhak isn’t taking any chances. “You look... Not what I was expecting.”

“Prettier?” The demon says, tilting his head and giving Geonhak the cutest smile he’s ever seen. 

Geonhak groans. “Younger. You probably shouldn’t even be here.”

“In Seoul?”

“At a bar. How old are you?”

The demon smirks, and Geonhak flusters.

“I mean, how old are you trying to look?”

The demon pouts as he thinks it over, “I was going for 20 but honestly, depends on the day. I looked particularly 18-ish last week. Works as a charm for middleaged humans every time.”

“I’m not even gonna ask.”

Geonhak goes to drink more of his soda, but realizes he has finished it. He waves to the bartender, who seems to ignore him. He gives up.

“I’m surprised you showed up,” the demon says. He sounds amused.

“It’s not every day I get a RSVP from—you know.”

The demon grins. “Dongju. That’s my name.”

“Nice to meet you.“

“Is it?” 

“You _sound_ 20, are you sure that’s not your real age?” 

The demon—Dongju—laughs, heartily. His profile is gorgeous, and Geonhak stares just long enough to be approppriate. Or so he hopes. 

“I’m on the younger side, yeah,” Dongju says, then leans closer to whisper. “Two hundred and seven, but people say I don’t look a year over a hundred.” 

Geonhak doesn’t say anything. He’s feeling way too relaxed for the situation he’s in.

“ _So_ ,” Dongju drags the word out. “You’re probably curious why I invited you here, angel.”

“Geonhak is fine.”

“You sure are,” Dongju says, making the tips of Geonhak’s ears turn red. “But we’re here for business. Unfortunately.”

Dongju laughs again. It’s a loud, carefree laugh, that somehow doesn’t attract anyone else’s attention. Only now does Geonhak realize everyone else at the bar is avoiding looking at them. Even the bartender, who seems really interested in the cash register in front of him. Then it clicks. 

“You charmed them.”

“Just a little something,” Dongju gestures dismissively, as if it’s nothing. “Anyway. The reason I contacted you is because I want to hire you.” 

“Hire me.”

“Yes. As a bodyguard. Of sorts.”

Geonhak turns his entire body towards him, frowning. “An angel. You want to hire an angel as a bodyguard.”

“I was informed you did this kind of work.”

“I do. Just rarely with demons.”

“What’s the difference, really?” Dongju shrugs. He stands up long enough to snatch a bottle of whiskey from behind the bar, uncorking it and using Geonhak’s empty glass to fill himself a shot. He catches Geonhak’s glare. “I’m gonna pay for this! Chill.”

“Why do you need it?” 

“Whiskey?”

Geonhak closes his eyes briefly, exasperated. “A bodyguard.”

“Well, it’s less of a bodyguard and more of a... buffer. I just need to be less... demon-y.” 

Geonhak stares at him. “I don’t follow.”

Dongju sighs dramatically, even though Geonhak doesn’t think there’s any reason for it. It’s like he’s used to acting his looks, which is... No, Geonhak is not thinking endearing. He’s not. 

(He is.) 

“See, there’s this party...”

“An ambush.”

“No. A party. And there’s these two angels...”

“I’m not killing my own kind.” 

“Who said anything about killing? Lilith’s wrath, just listen!”

Geonhak shuts up. 

“We’ve been friends for ages. Like, _ages_ , but it’s usually on the down-low. Because, you know.” He rolls his eyes as if he’s not talking about the oldest politically charged subject in the world. “So anyway, they’re hosting this party and I really wanna go, but I don’t want people to be scared of me. Or suspicious. I need a buffer.”

Geonhak blinks. Slowly. 

“You wanna hire me to accompany you to a party?”

“Yes!” Dongju smiles, all happy Geonhak has caught up. “What do you say?”

He rests an elbow on the bar, chin on his hand. He looks way too cute for a fiendish creature, Geonhak thinks. Geonhak clears his throat. 

”Who gave you my contact info?”

“Seoho. Used to go by Gunmin a few years back? Said you’re a good fighter. And an eye candy.”

Geonhak makes a face. Dongju laughs. 

“Just kidding! He did say you’re a good fighter, though. Gave him a hell of a limp for a couple of months.”

“Well, he deserved it,” Geonhak says simply. 

Dongju watches him for a couple of seconds, before saying, “The eye candy was on me.” With that he smirks and turns up the rest of the whiskey, standing up. 

“I’ll text you the details, then?” 

Geonhak is still trying to process what has just happened, so he just nods, bowing his head as the demon leaves a bill to cover his drink and walks back out the door. The bartender looks up from the cash register as soon as he does, rubbing his neck as if it hurts. 

He should probably be more concerned about this job, Geonhak muses. Walking a demon into an angel party sounds like a suicide squad kind of mission. But it’s not the first time he’s made a deal with the devil. 

And hopefully, it’s not the last either. 

* * *

Dongju looks gorgeous. 

That he could look cute Geonhak knew already—the oversized sweater and sneakers combo from their first meeting was a dead giveaway. But this? This is a lot.

Dongju is wearing high-waisted pants that fit snuggly around his thin waist, and a dark blue blouse that’s just a bit too low on the neck. He’s wearing eye makeup, and he holds himself as if he’s the actual prince of England. Geonhak wonders briefly if he’s some kind of demon royalty, but dismisses the thought. It would’ve showed up on his research. 

Because Geonhak did some. Research, that is. He reached out to a couple of people, asked around. No one really knew Dongju, at least not in his circles. Geonhak didn’t want to contact Gunmin—or Seoho, or whatever his name was these days—because the demon pissed him off, as much as anyone could piss him off. (Even though Gunmin-Seoho swears they’re friends. Says he’s a pain in the ass to Geonhak because he _likes_ him. The madman.) But in the end, Geonhak did contact him, and heard from the demon himself that Dongju was trustworthy. Or as trustworthy as any demon could be, really.

Geonhak didn’t know the angels throwing the party either, but he reached out and made sure Dongju’s story checked out. It did, apparently. Somehow, Dongju, Hwanwoong and Keonhee had been friends for decades. Geonhak really wanted to ask how that came to be, but he didn’t know how to add that to the conversation. _So, are you two in the habit of befriending demons? Does your archangel know about that, by any chance?_

And it’s not like Geonhak is one to talk. He’s been “freelancing” for a while now, and he usually avoids angels and demons politics, not only for self-preservation but because it’s all so goddamn dumb. He doesn’t get it, and he doesn’t want to get it, so he keeps going on with his eternal life, sometimes (carefully) mingling with demons and other nightlife beings, sometimes offering them his services. It works well for everyone involved, really. 

Except that no demon has ever looked as good as Dongju does tonight.

Geonhak is at a loss for words when Dongju walks out of the house pretty much like a human runway model. He stops right by Geonhak’s car and stares at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Geonhak clears his throat. “You look... Good.”

Dongju’s smile is as bright as the moon. “Thank you, Mr Angel. You don’t look too shabby yourself.” He winks, and Geonhak feels like nothing in his 400 years of existence has prepared him for this. He opens the door for Dongju and walks around the car to the driver’s seat. 

“You know, for an angel,” Dongju says when they’ve got their seatbelts on, “you’re quite the gentleman.”

“What are you talking about? Angels are supposed to be nice. That’s like, the whole point.”

“Are you sure about that? Because from where I stand it looks like Heaven is a little too heavy on the whole punishment and retribution thing. Plus, your humans are the worst.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this from a demon. Don’t you torture people down in your place?”

“Physical torture? Nah. It was never a thing. Probably Heaven propaganda. We _did_ have, like, the ‘you hate this Mariah Carey song so you’re gonna listen to it until you repent’ kind of torture. But it rarely worked.”

Geonhak thinks for a moment. “And sin?”

“Is a thing that exists, yes,” Dongju says slowly, not sure what Geonhak is getting at. 

“I mean, if people sin, wouldn’t you torture them? Isn’t that the whole thing? You sin, you go to hell, you get punished for it?”

“Again: punshiment is you guys’ thing. What you call sin we call living.” Dongju pulls down the sun visor to check his makeup in the mirror. Satisfied, he leans back on his seat and loooks at Geonhak. “Didn’t you ask Seoho all this?”

“Gunmin and I don’t talk a lot,” Geonhak thinks back to how most of their encounters ended in a brawl. “And I‘m not in the habit of chatting with demons.”

“Unless you’re going on a date with one.”

Geonhak takes a full ten seconds to understand what Dongju is saying. 

“This isn’t a date.”

“It _so_ is.” 

“You’re paying me to accompany you.”

“You picked me up.”

“You asked me to!”

“Would you go with me if I weren’t paying you?”

Geonhak opens his mouth to give him a sound _no_ , but can’t bring himself to actually say it. And it’s not because angels can’t lie (they absolutely can, and do so; more often than the higher-ups like to admit.), but because it’s not true. He probably would go out with Dongju anyway. And Geonhak knows it. 

When he glances from the road to Dongju, the demon is smirking. 

“So. It’s a date.”

Geonhak groans, but doesn’t argue. 

For the next fifteen minutes, they discuss anything but (supernatural) politics. Geonhak plugs his phone to the car system and they talk about his playlist; Dongju complains about the lack of contemporary pop music, but is otherwise pleased with his taste. They discuss films (“I can’t believe you did that. I actually can’t.” “The world needed a movie version of _Cats_. And besides, I was behind on my misdeeds quota, and that was worth like, six months.”), human politics (“It’s really pointless being a demon sometimes, humans can and do wreck themselves without our help.”), books (“What do you mean you haven’t read the bible?!” “No one does, it’s like a badly written fanaccount.” “YOU’RE AN ANGEL?”), and by the time they arrive at the address Dongju gave him, Geonhak feels a lot more at ease about the whole thing. 

“It’s warded,” Geonhak points out, then literally points at the house. He notices Dongju give a slight shudder. “You okay?” 

Dongju nods, but he looks less boisterous than he was a minute ago. It’s off-putting, and Geonhak feels weirdly worried about him. He offers his arm, and Dongju looks at him, suspicious. 

“You’re with me. You’ll be fine,” he reassures him. Dongju accepts the offer, linking their arms together. It feels, strangely enough, cold, as if Geonhak runs warmer than Dongju. He doesn’t remember a demon that felt so cold to the touch. But then again, he doesn’t remember an angel that felt as warm as Geonhak himself does, so...

They walk to the door with arms linked together. Dongju shivers when they pass through the outer wards, but seems fine otherwise. Geonhak’s proximity and touch must’ve helped. He rings the doorbell, and in no time it flies open to a short, purple-haired guy with a colorful drink in one hand. 

“You came!” He says, and Geonhak recognizes his voice as the angel he spoke to when he was doing his research, Hwanwoong. He and Dongju share a frankly ear-shattering hug with lots of screaming. “And you must be Geonhak!” The angel says when they part, offering a hand that Geonhak takes on his own. 

Before he can reply, someone comes running from inside the house, screaming Dongju’s name. Geonhak almost readies himself for a fight, but the tall guy—also an angel, his signature says—just gives Dongju a bear hug that’s all limbs and more ear-shattering screaming. 

“Come inside, come on, oh my god, how long has it been?” The tall one says, pulling Dongju inside by the hand. He gives Geonhak a once-over. “And when were you going to tell me you’re dating an angel?”

“We’re not—“ Geonhak starts saying, but Dongju pulls him close by the waist, cutting him off by saying:

“Isn’t he cute?”

“It’s the angel I told you about, Keonhee,” the short angel, Hwanwoong, says, shooting Geonhak an apologetic smile. They’re moving into the living room now, and the music and the chatter is getting louder. Keonhee says something that Geonhak doesn’t catch and vanishes into the crowd—actually, legitimately vanishes; this must be a no humans allowed party. 

“He’s gonna get you some drinks. I’m Hwanwoong, by the way. We spoke a few days ago.”

“Pleasure,” he says with a smile. “I don’t drink, though, it’s fine.”

“Oh, shoot, I’ll let him know,” Hwanwoong says before also vanishing.

Geonhak is left with Dongju, who’s practically clinging to him, all smiles. He hadn’t realized they still have their arms locked together, and that Dongju used that to glue himself to Geonhak’s side. Geonhak notices a few curious glances in Dongju’s direction. Nothing that is obviously hostile, but still, it’s clear Dongju’s presence doesn’t go unnoticed. His demon signature is clear as day. Geonhak pulls him closer to him and stares back until the few lingering gazes shift somewhere else. 

“Having fun, angel?”

Dongju says that right against Geonhak’s ear. If it were anyone else, Geonhak would say he’s just trying to make himself heard over the music. But Dongju’s smirk says something else. Geonhak merely nods, unsure what to say. He pulls Geonhak towards a group of people he knows, exchanging hugs and hi-how-have-you-beens and introducing Geonhak simply as “Geonhak hyung”. It’s obvious that most of those he’s being presented to think they’re an item, but Dongju doesn’t seem all that interested in correcting their assumption. 

What surprises Geonhak the most, though, is that he doesn’t feel like correcting them himself, either. 

The party is smaller than Geonhak was expecting. While the majority of people there are angels, he notices a handful of fae, and can distinctively smell a wizard, although he can’t pinpoint his location.

But rather than worrying about the people around them, Geonhak finds himself focusing more and more on the demon next to him. Dongju looks like he’s having the time of his life. They stick mostly by the hosts’ side; the three of them, Dongju and the two angels, really do seem close. Geonhak watches, fascinated (and maybe a little entranced by Dongju’s infectious laugh.) He’s a little bit distracted when, while he’s sitting down on the couch, nursing his third mocktail, Dongju plops down on his lap. His hand is around Dongju’s waist before his brain catches up.

“What are you doing?” Geonhak asks—or rather, splutters. 

“Sitting,” Dongju says simply, leaning against his chest. He continues the conversation with Keonhee from Geonhak’s lap, and Geonhak doesn’t miss the way Keonhee tries to suppress a smile and fails. 

It feels, strangely enough, nice. Geonhak doesn’t know what he was expecting from this much contact with a demon—burns? Electric shocks? The disembodied voice of his archangel condemning him to a lifetime of hellish fire for consorting with the enemy?—, but all he feels is... comfortable. Happy. He basks in Dongju’s cologne, which is subtle but there, and finds himself watching Dongju’s face, so close, and so beautiful.

“You’re staring, angel,” Dongju says when Keonhee excuses himself for one reason or another. 

Geonhak clears his throat, looking away like he’s suddenly very concerned about their surroundings. “Am not.”

“Yes, you are,” Dongju all but purrs, one finger carressing Geonhak’s jawline. His touch feels soft, yet calculated. “It’s ok. I know I’m pretty.” 

Geonhak snorts, but he meets Dongju’s eyes. He thinks he can see red shining through the brown; that’s how close they are. Instinctively, Geonhak tightens his grip on Dongju’s waist. He could kiss him. They’re close enough that he could kiss him, and no one would care, no one would mind—

Dongju kisses him first. 

There’s fire, but the non-deadly kind, burning in Geonhak’s lower stomach. There’s ice, but the welcoming kind, seeping through Dongju’s fingers where he’s holding Geonhak’s face. There’s all sorts of _right_ , and all Geonhak can think of is why did it take him so long? For Dongju to find him, for Dongju to come to him, for Dongju to kiss him. 

They kiss until they can’t, until Dongju is whining into his mouth, hand roaming lower and lower on his body, until Geonhak has to grab his wrist before Dongju can actually reach his pants. 

“Not that I’m not flattered, but maybe not here,” he says, and his voice comes out huskier than usual, which means it’s almost a growl. 

Dongju, heavens be praised, _pouts_. Actually pouts. Geonhak chuckles. 

“Maybe this party could use a little spicing up.”

“It really couldn’t,” Geonhak argues. “Besides, I thought you were here to see your friends?”

“I’ve seen them. They’ve seen me. And they’ve seen _you_ , so they’d completely understand if I left right now to do some bad things.”

“You call it bad, I’d call it good.” 

Dongju rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Shut up, _angel_ ,” he says, and then effectively shuts him up by kissing him again.

* * *

“How are you friends with a vampire again?” Dongju asks from the living room. Geonhak, who has been cooking an elaborate dish and bemoaning the lack of garlic, smiles to himself. 

“Led Zeppelin,” he shoots back. 

“The band?” Dongju pops his head into the kitchen. He’s wearing one of Geonhak’s shirt, which means he looks _tiny_. 

“Yup. Went to one of their concerts in the 70s. Youngjo hyung tried to flirt with me, then got super embarrassed when he realized I was an angel. It was hilarious, but kinda cute.”

“They can’t tell?”

“Nope,” Geonhak offers a spoonful for Dongju to taste. “How’s the salt? Should I add more?”

Dongju shakes his head. “It’s good. So he’s your ex?”

“We never actually got together. You’re my first foray into the dark side.”

Dongju slaps him playfully in the arm. 

“It’s true, though?!”

Dongju slaps him again, making Geonhak laugh. He goes back to the stove, and Dongju leaves the kitchen for a second before coming back with Sunny in his arms. 

“How come he doesn’t eat him?”

“His own dog? I think he has better self-control than that.”

“And he’s too cute, right?” Dongju coos and scratches Sunny under the chin, “I’m too cute to be eaten, hyung! Look at my sweet little face. I’m too cute!”

“Please don’t talk about eating my friend’s dog right before we have lunch,” Geonhak says, but he’s laughing, watching Dongju baby the dog as if he’s never seen anything so cute. 

(Geonhak hasn’t seen anything so cute either, but he’s not thinking about Sunny.)

“I’ll be sad when we have to leave him. Can we adopt him when your vampire ex comes back? Can we just move in and he moves into one of our places?”

"Good luck with that, I think Youngjo hyung would rather lose an arm than let anyone adopt Sunny."

It’s been tricky, the past five months. They avoid their own places because it’d be too easy for a higher-up to figure out they’ve disabled the wards on their apartments, and because they don’t want to keep showing up everywhere together. If humans are dangerous when they're religious fanatics, imagine the beings that are actually directly involved with the politics of it all. They’ve managed to sneak around, using safe havens and friends’ places (Hwanwoong and Keonhee’s house is still their favorite hangout spot), but it wasn’t until Geonhak offered to look after Sunny when Youngjo said he was leaving for a short three months trip to the U.S that they actually had the chance to have somewhere all for themselves.

Geonhak likes it. He likes it so much he doesn’t want this to end.

“You know, I was thinking...” He says when they’re sitting at the table, warm food neatly arranged in front of them. Dongju is already digging in, but he looks up at Geonhak, curiously. “I know it’s just been a few months, but this—this seems to be working. It works, doesn’t it? I think it does?”

Dongju smiles fondly at the way he stumbles with the words. “What are you trying to say, hyung?”

“I’m trying to say that if, like... If you feel like it. If you’d like to. We could—we _can_ get our own place. A different one. No wards, no risk of getting walked in by a half naked Keonhee. Just us.” 

The way Dongju’s smile spreads on his face is akin to the way the moon shines through parting clouds. He squeals, and jumps up and then on Geonhak, nearly topping him over, chair and all. He peppers Geonhak’s face with kisses, and Geonhak offers muffled grunts of protest that don’t really mean anything. When Dongju finally stops, he’s sitting on Geonhak’s lap, beaming at him.

“I’d love that.”

“You’d move in with an angel?”

“After everything else I’ve done with an angel? That’s nothing.” 

Geonhak blushes, he can’t help it; Dongju knows how to push his buttons.

“Y-You know what I mean. It could be risky. If either of our superiors find out...”

“They can kiss my beautiful, perfectly-shaped ass,” Dongju says. “Besides, what would they do? Demote us? I’m already a low-level, anyway.”

“They could kill us.”

“I’d like to see them try,” Dongju grins, giving Geonhak a quick peck on the lips. Geonhak catches the red glint in his eyes, and he’d be lying if he said he isn’t curious about the extent of Dongju’s power. The demon goes back to his own chair after that. “And we’re getting a dog.”

“I—What?”

Dongju gasps. “They’d be cousins! Sunny and whoever we adopt. Oh my Lucifer, we’d have to get them matching clothes. How cute would that be!”

Geonhak just sits there, head spinning. He finally finds his words again, “We were just talking about the possibility of us dying. Who cares about dogs?”

Dongju looks at him, mouth open, as if horribly offended. “I do! Besides, what are you so worried about? I thought you didn’t care about the implications of it all. Y’know, Heaven, Hell, all that jazz.”

“I don’t. Technically. Doesn’t mean I don’t worry.”

“You met me, an unkwown demon, at a bar. Because I _asked_ you to. You weren't too worried then.” 

“You were offering me a job.”

“And how is that less treasonous than sleeping with the enemy?”

Geonhak throws his hands up. “I don’t know! I honestly don’t want to know.”

“Then stop worrying.”

They go back to eating, but Geonhak’s forehead is creased in thought, and that doesn’t go unnoticed by Dongju. The demon grabs Geonhak’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. “We’ll be fine. You're with me," he echoes, from what feels like ages ago. "Trust me.”

Geonhak looks at their hands, then up at Dongju. He carresses Dongju’s hand with his thumb. “I trust you. I don’t trust them,” he says, glancing upwards. “Or them, for that matter,” he indicates the floor with his chin. 

“You don’t need to,” Dongju says. He brings Geonhak’s hand up to his lips, giving it a kiss. “You have me. And a bunch other people. Or do you think Hwanwoong, Keonhee, and Seoho aren’t ready to throw hands for you? Because they absolutely are.”

“Would they go against Heaven and Hell?”

“For you? Probably. For me? Yes, one hundred per cent,” Dongju teases, making Geonhak laugh. 

They’re still holding hands when they hear a loud bang that sounds way too close to the apartment door—just outside, actually. Their eyes meet briefly before they both stand up. Sunny scurries away to the master bedroom. Another bang, closer this time. The door shakes on its hinges. This can’t be what they’ve been talking about—can it? Neither party would need to make such an entrance. 

No, this is something else. 

Geonhak meets Dongju’s eyes. 

“Ready?”

“Whenever you are, angel,” the demon says with a grin that’s growing toothier by the second. 

The door explodes open, and as if on cue, they unfurl their wings—bright blue and sulfuric red.

And together they stand. As promised.


End file.
